Dreams of the Past
by wibblywobblywesteros
Summary: The tale of Meera Tully who is the younger sister of Cat and Lysa who was once betrothed to Jaime Lannister. She has much to loose in the War of Five Kings. One shot.


Part One

Meera Tully always felt guilty on her nameday since it also happened to be the day that her mother had died. Her father Hoster Tully never openly blamed her but Lysa had on occasion. Catlyn and Edmure were never so openly cruel and she knew that Lysa didn't truly mean it anyway. Lysa was just upset at the time, she hadn't meant it, not really. Meera tried to push such thoughts aside and focus on being happy for her nameday. It was not everyday that a girl turned fifteen after all. She fussed with her long red locks in front of the looking glass before finally making herself get up and face her family.

Petyr Baelish was waiting for her in the hallway. Lysa thought him quite handsome and Cat thought he was a sweet lad but Meera thought that neither of her sisters could see Petyr for who he really was. She herself didn't know what to make of him but she knew he was neither sweet nor handsome.

"I thought perhaps you planned to stay in there all day." Petyr was saying. "Your sisters have everything ready. They're waiting for you. I'll walk you down to the great hall."

"Thank you." Meera took his arm, half wishing it had been her brother Edmure who had come for her instead.

The family had prepared a feast and her father had several gifts for her as well. She was given a silver hair comb with a Tully fish worked into the metal, a bolt of new blue cloth for dressmaking, and a book by one of her favorite story writers. Everything was going smoothly and splendidly at first. Lysa kept making eyes at Petyr across the table until Edmure poked her discreetly. Cat prattled on about her betrothed Branden Stark. _He _was handsome. Catlyn had gotten a very lucky match with the Starks. Meera couldn't hope to do nearly so well. Youngest daughters never did. But maybe she could still marry someone who would be kind to her and even love her. She held out hope for that.

"There was a bird today from Casterly Rock." Hoster announced as they finished their meal. "Tywin Lannister has invited us for a visit to consider a betrothal of his son Jaime with Meera."

Meera dropped her fork. "I thought Lysa was to be betrothed to him."

"She was, but as she is a year elder than Jaime, Tywin said he wanted his son to have a younger bride." Hoster explained.

Lysa glared at Meera then left the table in a huff.

"I see." Meera let this news wash over her. "Am I to meet him?"

"In a fortnight. We will journey to the Casterly Rock."

Meera didn't dare ask when the marriage would take place. She knew Cat would marry first and she expected that wouldn't take place for another year. There was no way of knowing if Tywin would even accept the betrothal. She still had some time to adjust to this.

They arrived at the Rock and were welcomed formally by Lord Tywin. He told them that Jaime was returning home in the next few days. He had just been knighted by Ser Arthur Dayne. Meera and her siblings were shown to their rooms while the Lords spoke privately. The next few days were spent in formal company with the Lannisters. Meera got the impression that Cersei didn't like her.

When Jaime finally arrived back at home, Meera's anxiousness took on a whole new level. Tywin had insisted on a private meeting with his son before any introductions were made but Meera still saw him enter the Castle. She had a good view from the window of her room. Jaime Lannister was the most handsome man she had ever seen. Certainly better looking than Petyr Baelish and even better than Brandon Stark. And he was a knight already, at age fifteen! She made the mistake of telling Cat so and was scolded for her vanity. Then Cat felt seemed to feel sorry for her words and began helping Meera with her hair. They wanted Meera to look perfect for the introduction.

Late that afternoon, a servant escorted them to Tywin's solar where the couple would finally meet. Meera curtsied and said all the right words but Jaime seeemed distant and angry. She suspected that he hadn't taken the news very well. She tried not to take it personally but it still stung. Then Tywin suggested that Jaime take her for a walk in the gardens. Cersei moved to follow but her father stopped her. Jaime remained silent until well after they had gone out of the castle. The longer he remained silent the more anxious she felt. He noticed her trembling hand on his arm and stopped near a flower bed, picking a single blue bloom he passed it to her.

"My father says the betrothal will take place whether we want it or not."

"Mine says the same." Meera told him, trying to stop the blush that threatened to creep onto her cheeks when he gave her a flower.

They walked for a while longer in silence until Jaime spoke up again. "How do you find Casterly Rock?"

"It's quite lovely here. I had never seen the sea before now. It's very beautiful."

"It's a very large Castle, larger than Riverrun I am told. We've had guests get lost inside. I trust you've been able to find your way without too much trouble?"

Meera smiled to herself. "I tried to convince Edmure and Lysa to play hide and seek but Cat wouldn't allow it. She said it wouldn't be proper. Still, it seems like there would be a great many places to hide in such a huge castle."

Jaime smiled too. "There _are _a lot of hiding places. Cersei and I have found many of them over the years."

"Forgive me for saying so, but I don't think your sister likes me." Meera dared to say.

"Cersei doesn't like anyone who isn't a Lannister." Jaime shrugged. "Don't take it personally."

"And what about you, Ser? Do you like people who aren't Lannisters?" Meera asked, feeling particularly bold at that moment.

He stopped walking and gazed down at her. "That remains to be seen."

Meera felt a chill at the intensity of his gaze. He took a step closer and she almost though he meant to kiss her but then he took her arm and escorted her back the way they had come. Over the next few days, Meera and Jaime spoke to each other several more times. She found she enjoyed his wit as well as his company. When the Tully's were ready to leave for Riverrun, the Lannisters gathered outside to say their goodbyes.

"I think I have come to a decision." Jaime told Meera. They stood a space apart from the others to say their goodbyes. Cersei was openly glaring at Meera from her spot at Tywin's side. "I _do _like people who aren't Lannisters."

Meera blushed prettily and smiled shyly. "I am glad to hear it Ser."

The two did not see each other again until the tourney at Harrenhal several months later. Meera saw him across the yard on the first day of the tourney and tried to cross and speak to him. He turned away, escaping into his tent. She sought him out a second time during the feast and her father caught her arm before she could reach him.

"I need to speak to you my daughter. Come with me back to our tent." Hoster said warily.

She glanced over at Jaime as Hoster pulled her from the hall and Jaime refused to meet her eyes.

"The Lannisters have chosen to end the betrothal." Hoster told her once they were back in their tent. "Jaime is to join the Kingsguard."

Meera felt as if she had been struck.

"I am sorry my dear. We will find you another match more worthy of you." Hoster said, giving her a kiss on the forehead. He left her then and Meera fought back her tears. She would not cry. She hadn't been in love with Jaime. She had barely known him. Crying now would only prove she was a silly maiden. Meera took a deep breath and forced herself out of the tent and back to the great hall with a smile on her face.

Meera saw Jaime several more times during the course of the tourney and though she understood why he avoided her, it didn't hurt any less. She watched stoically as he was sworn to the Kingsgaurd. She felt alone. Cat was spending all her free time with Brandon Stark and had no idea of what had taken place. Lysa sat with Petyr in a manner that was too close to be appropriate but father didn't seem to notice. Hoster was too busy trying to arrange a match for Edmure with some of the other Lords in attendance. Cersei smiled at her from a distance and Meera wondered why the young woman was so happy.

Prince Rhaegar won the tourney and crowned Lyanna Stark his Queen of Love and Beauty. Meera thought it rather unfair that the Starks always received so much attention. Sure, Lyanna was pretty enough but Elia Martell was more beautiful and she was Rhaegar's wife. Nothing in life was fair, not even a stupid tourney.

Part Two

It was the second time in her life that Meera had felt truly alone and this time was far more painful than the last. She was now a widow, childless, and orphaned all in the same week. Her father had been ill a long time. She had known his death was coming. But her husband and son had gone to battle among the Stark bannermen and had not returned to her alive. Tobias had not been a gentle husband. He was rough and course and sometimes cruel but he had provided a home for her and seen to all her needs. She had grown to care for him in her own manner. Their son Tomas had been only a boy of fourteen. She had loved him with her whole heart. He had been her whole world. The maesters had told her after his birth that she would never be able to have other children. Tomas had torn her womb and nearly killed her coming into the world. So she had doted on her only son and lived to see him happy. She hadn't treated him the same way as Lysa treated her son. Meera wanted Tomas to be independent of her and a strong young man. But she had found other ways to spoil him, cooking his favorite foods, buying him the best horses and swords... Now he was gone and it was as if life had lost all meaning.

Meera didn't want to leave her room at Riverrun. She had gone to her father during the last days of his life and when word came of Tobias and Tomas she couldn't bring herself to face Catlyn. This was_ her _son's war. He had called the bannermen and his battles had killed her family. Some part of her knew that Catelyn wasn't truly responsible for their deaths but she avoided her sister nonetheless.

She didn't know how long she had stayed locked away in her chambers. Hours melted into days and Meera forgot to eat or drink or bathe most of the time. A knock sounded at her door, startling her.

"Go away." Meera responded, without even bothering to see who it was.

"It's me, Meera." Cat's voice replied. "Let me in."

Biting back her anger, Meera rose and unbolted the door. "What do you want?"

"You've been locked away in here for nine days. It isn't healthy. Come out and walk with me in the yard." Catelyn said gently.

_Why do you even care? _Meera wanted to ask, but she held her tongue and followed her sister down the hall and outdoors.

The sisters walked silently for a time. Meera was too angry to speak and Catelyn was trying to find the right words. "Edmure is to marry one of the Freys in a fortnight." Cat told her.

"Why?" Meera said, barely able to hold back the bitterness in her tone. "Would that be because your son failed to marry one of the Freys as he promised?"

Catlyn swallowed, visibly disturbed by the question. "If we don't have the Freys assistance, the war is lost."

"All is lost for me anyhow." Meera told her.

"Perhaps. Or perhaps you could find happiness again given time. Maybe a new marriage with one of the Freys..."

Meera didn't take time to think. She slapped her sister in the face. "How dare you?" Meera tried to flee the garden and return to her chambers.

Cat caught her arm. "I'm sorry Meera. I didn't mean right away. A betrothal would be satisfactory for the time being. Of course you will be given time to mourn...I can't bear to loose a son. Help me end this war and save my son."

Meera wrenched her arm free and fled back to her room without a word. She felt guilty for her actions later when Cat and Rob were both slaughtered at the Red Wedding. Then Meera realized she might be dead as well if she had agreed to attend and accept a betrothal and she forced herself to push her guilt aside. There were more important things to worry about when the Freys surrounded Riverrun and threatened to hang her brother day after day. She wasn't exactly relieved when the siege was ended by Jaime Lannister. She hadn't seen him since the tourney at Harrenhal all those years ago and she wasn't sure she wanted to see him at all.

Meera and Edmure were escorted out of the castle by Lannister soldiers. They and the other captives from the household were to be taken to Casterly Rock. Jaime Lannister dismounted his horse and came to them. He was as handsome as she remembered, even lacking a hand. He spoke to Edmure first.

"You'll need to travel separately from your sister. I'll not have you making escape plans together." Jaime told him, directing some of the men to take Edmure away. Then Jaime turned to Meera. "You'll be treated gently at Casterly Rock, I promise you that."

Meera said nothing of how little she trusted his promises. She wanted to remain defiant and aloof but those green eyes and gentle words filled her with confusion. How could she still care for him after all these years, after all he had done? She hated herself for feeling anything but anger towards him.

"Take her in the carriage." Jaime was saying to his men. "And see to it that she is well cared for. No one is to harm her or they will answer to me for it." The men nodded and began loading the carriage. One of them came and took her arm. "Meera?" Jaime called after her as she was led away. "I do still like a few people who aren't Lannisters. I always have."

Meera was led away to the carriage. She took one last look at the man who might have been her husband a realized that there were some things in life that she would never understand, even about herself.


End file.
